Tuesday, October 9, 2012

self reflection paper


Eden Bellow
Professor Douglass
October 9, 2012
Bikram Yoga; Blood, Sweat, and Tears

The Yoga studio I attended is called Bikram Yoga NYC.  They have four studios around Manhattan and have been in existence since 1999. When I looked at the site and read their introduction I felt I had a solid basic understanding of what I was getting myself into. Before I get into my own experience I am going to discuss what Bikram is.
Bikram is a series of 26 Hatha yoga postures and 2 pranayama breathing practices. The typical temperature for a Bikram class, and the temperature I experienced, is 105 degrees. This genre of yoga was founded by a man named Bikram Choudhury. He had been doing yoga since he was four years old and won the National India Yoga Championship when he was thirteen. He remained undefeated for three consecutive years. He went on to be a weightlifter in the 1964 Olympics and stopped competing after a knee injury occurred (Choudhury, 2010). He went back to Bishnu Ghosh's school and after 6 moths had managed to cure his knee entirely. He then proceeded to create 26 postures that were applicable for any age and most conditions of the body. Bikram founded Bikram’s Yoga College of India (Choudhury, 2010).
            Bikram says, “If you follow my instruction and do my yoga postures Sequence to the best of your ability, you will live a better, healthier and more peaceful life” (Choudhury, 2010). As long as you follow what the instructor is saying and try your hardest then that is the essence of the practice. The heat is part of the practice because you can get deeper into the muscles allowing for maximum stretch (Nelson, 2011). Not only are you stretching the muscles to the fullest but also you are sweating profusely which is meant to help get rid of toxins in the body. It can effectively treat ADD, depression, and menopausal symptoms  (Yamanaka, 2011). The idea is that one pushes the body to the extent of its flexibility and then you stay in that pose until instructed to come out of it.
            The asana, when held in a steady and comfortable, yet firm and relaxed state, serves to “open the energy channels, chakras, and psychic centers of the body,” while simultaneously improving one’s muscular strength and maintaining “control of the mind” (Braun, 2012). It is known to massage the lymph nodes of the body and thin out the blood to clear the passageways. It increases your heart rate as well, which is the cardio part of the practice (Shundt).
            When I looked over the site to see what to expect it was made clear that all levels are welcome and no matter where you are in terms of Bikram practice, all levels are put in a class together. The website revealed that the teacher will always ask if it is anyone’s first time or if anyone has any injuries, and then they will proceed to give tips and offer support to those in need. I also looked at my instructor for the class, Yarrow Bucans. She has been a licensed Bikram instructor since 2006 and started her practice due to an injury.
            I walked upstairs to the studio and sat on the bench waiting to be let into the room. There were clean and dirty mats hanging on a long rack in front of me. It smelled like sweat and the scent started making me feel queasy. I noticed that a woman had to come in and wipe down the mirrors as well as cool down the room before we entered. There ended up being about 12 people in my class and the teacher asked me if I had ever done Bikram before; I said no. Throughout the class I paid close attention to how she filled each silence with something motivational: “Push and push and puuusssshh and release!” “Focus on yourself in the mirror don’t look down! Lock your knees, pull your shoulders down!” Her tone was intense and passionate, and it almost intimidated me. She would tell me, before the start of a new set of postures, that I could watch the first time and then join in when I felt I understood it. [I kept up with the class the best I could but holding the poses for so long in suvh a hot room turned out to be extremely challenging.] I was highly uncomfortable and found that I could not do any of the poses to the best of my ability because my emotions where getting the best of me. When we moved to the floor postures, I started to have a real problem. My mind was too busy freaking out about not knowing how much time I had left, I felt unfamiliar sensations in my body, and I was uncomfortable feeling my sweaty skin against my face, stomach and legs. I felt like leaving the room but I knew I couldn’t do that, so out of frustration I started to cry. I cried for the last twenty minutes and kept talking myself out of panicking and reminded myself that everything is temporary. The only part I enjoyed was the shivasanas we would have in between the floor stets. I liked them because I felt like my body had become my heart. I felt my entire being pulsing with the beat of my heart; it was amazing. Once I had to get into the next posture the tears would start to flow again.
            During class the teacher saw my distress. She kept talking to the class (for my benefit really) about how it is totally normal and acceptable to get emotional during the practice and to feel dizzy and nauseous. She told stories about her own emotional experiences in Bikram classes and said, “I am very compassionate towards those having a difficult time in this class, and know that I understand what this is like, you can do this.” Her statement made me think, Why am I getting so emotional? Why am I panicking? Am I okay now?  Afterwards I realized a few things. First I remembered that I am very hypersensitive to heat, I can’t even have hot water on my face! I was crying because I was uncomfortable and my hypersensitivity was skyrocketing in a manner it never has before. I was panicking because I had forgotten how long the class is supposed to be and so I freaked out at not “knowing.” I didn’t like how queasy I felt in some postures and was angry with myself for not trying as hard as I could and for letting my emotions distract me. When I asked myself if I was okay now... all I could say was “NO!”  Meanwhile the teacher was keeping an eye on me the entire time and simply let me have my reactions.
            After the class was over, I slowly walked to the locker room and she came in soon after. Yarrow asked me, “where you crying for any specific reason?” I told her that I was crying, because I was uncomfortable and claustrophobic; I was on the verg of panic for most of it. She then shared with me that she had had OCD and general anxiety disorder and that it all went away when she stuck with the practice. She encouraged me to come again the next day and said it would be easier because my body will be better adjusted.
Her response to my reaction told me a little bit about the theory behind this type of yoga. It showed me that Bikram is about pushing through the discomforts to get to a more balanced place. Yarrow could see that I was not doing the poses to the best of my ability and that I was letting my emotions take over. The idea behind Bikram is, as long as you do each post as best you can, then you will get a lot more out of it. This, I felt I had failed to do. Yarrow’s perspective was, not to let this first time experience hinder my perception of this type of practice and that in the end, it will help me not hurt me.
What she was saying throughout the class did cohere with the actual postures As we would go through each posture she her tone remained motivational and loud. This went well with the actual asanas because each pose is precise and simple, but you are also in them to explore the boundaries of your physical and emotional self.  What seemed odd to me were the transitions between the poses. I am used to shivasana being at the end of the class, but she had them for two minuets between every seated set of postures. That sensation I described earlier on, about feeling my entire body pulsate, was an experience I have never had before. Something that surprised me was that at the end of the class she congratulated me on making it through my first Bikram class and she got the entire class to clap. I found this strange because I am not used to being acknowledged in yoga. iI was nice, but I was too uncomfortable to even put a smile on my face.
To be completely honest, nothing really seemed “right” to me. This was such a new experience and most of the poses were unfamiliar. But I will say that this was the first yoga class where I truly didn’t push myself.  Foe example, I was told to lock my knee and bend my entire spine! This seemed contradictory to my entire practice. I have been yogically conditioned to be careful with my knee and to keep my spine "safe.” I have always done back bends but I have never felt pain in my shoulders like I did in this class and even though I held back I felt as though I was asking too much of my body. I let myself observe first and join later as well as sometimes not going all the way in a pose. Some of that was due to how uncomfortable my innards felt in certain postures but most of it was my fear of not knowing what to expect. Everyone’s experience is different, but there is no way I would have gone to this class if someone had told me what my class was going to be like.
I think my interpretation of Bikram is influenced by my culture in a couple of ways. Typically my culture would view this practice as an unhealthy form of exercise. Although Americans tend to take exercise to the extreme in a lot of cases, I think the fact that crying and getting dizzy and nauseous is kind of expected in Bikram would be a major concern for my culture. If you are crying and on the verge of a panic attack (like myself) then you should probably walk out and take care of yourself. I certainly wanted to leave because my culture doesn’t encourage me to subject myself to a painful experience. Instead, I stayed and pushed myself and was encouraged to stick it out.
Even though it might not become as popular as gentler forms of ypga, America would definitely support the extreme parts of this practice because it has multiple benefits: it can cure certain mood disorders, help you lose weight, build flexibility, get rid of toxins, and cleanse the body in many ways. Since Bikram is the same all over the world, I think that America probably hasn’t influenced this type of yoga all that much. Bikram seems to be pretty simple and straightforward, you get out what you put in 100%. I will never do this type of yoga again, but even though I had a challenging experience I am proud to say that I tried and stayed till the class was completely over.



References


Braun, T. (2012, June 13). Bikram yoga may improve fitness and sleep.

Choudhury, B. (2010). Bikram choudhury.

Nelson, R. (2011, January 03). The history of hot yoga.

Yamanaka, M. (2011, May 30). Bikram yoga: What's the science?.
Fitpro, 12-14.

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